Stay Aware, Stay Healthy

Two years ago on this day I had no care in the world. I went to watch a fantastic play by Naseeruddin Shah in Pune. It got over late and my husband and I stopped by Pune Club to catch a quick drink and dinner. A glass of rum and Coke with some grilled fish. Reached home around midnight and went to sleep. After an hour or so I felt uneasy and rushed to the bathroom to throw up. And throw up several more times. Easily blaming either the food or the drink, I kept trying all kinds of things like saunf, ajwain, electrol, lime water and waited for the feeling to subside. But it just won't go away even though there was nothing left to throw up. Both of us thought it to be food poisoning at the worst.

Around 5 am I managed to doze off, and got up after a few minutes. I tried to call out to my husband who also had slept after an exhausting night but no voice would come out. I just couldn't talk or even say out his name. I tugged at the sheet and hit the bed with my hand to get his attention. At the same time my right arm went totally numb and lifeless and my face had a mild contortion. Realising that these symptoms were were not normal, my husband and my wonderful neighbours immediately rushed me to the hospital nearby. I passed out in the elevator and when I woke up hours later I was informed about the stroke. I didn't believe the diagnosis as I had no blood pressure or cholesterol issues, was healthy and active, in fact had taken up running a few days earlier. But there it was - Transient Ischemic Attack.

I recovered well and am lucky to have no obvious signs of it. My speech is fine. I run regularly, slow and steady though. Some people who meet me for the first time are also surprised to hear about it! The stroke though has left me changed in some ways.

Every single night I think of it when I go to sleep. What if I can't get up in the morning? What if it happens again? What will I do if it happens when I am alone at home? Whom will I call? Who will take me to the hospital? What if it leaves me incapacitated? Will I have another one or just fear this all my life? It is not the fear of death but the fear of being immobilised that scares me. I never have rum and fish together, thinking may be it was this combination that triggered the stroke.

My right side is a bit slow and it takes me longer to type with my right hand. My right arm feels heavier and different (from the left arm) to touch. Also I end up making more mistakes and have to spellcheck everything. I love reading and could read for hours before. Now my retention span has become shorter and takes me much longer to finish a book. I forget things, even important ones. I have become more emotional and it takes very little to make me cry (may be age). How I would love to train well and run fast but I can't do so! But I have to make sure that I am not overdoing it or stressing my body even a bit over it. So slowly and steadily I have learnt to make my peace with completing a half marathon without bothering about the timings.

Most of you who know me for long already know all about it. And this not why I am writing this post. I am writing this because stroke doesn't happen to people with a defined profile. Healthy people which no previous family history or signs can be affected by it. Awareness is important as is immediate medical help. So if you think that an ache or symptom however innocuous is out of the ordinary, get help.

Learn to listen to your body.