And we forgot the mother of the boyfriend!!!

It has been a few days since a young pretty girl committed suicide. I am not even saying an actress because even that is secondary. She was just a young pretty girl.

A lot has been reported since starting with her frustrations over an almost non-existent career, her boyfriend with whom (maybe) she was living with, her five page suicide note, her boyfriend's father's notorious past and so on.

A lot of blame game has been played - she herself because she should have known better or sought help, her boyfriend whom she apparently loved and who did not reciprocate - how could he not?, her mother who should have taught her better than to take her own life, boyfriend's father - like father like son etc.

I read her suicide note.

It talks of physical and mental abuse. I do not know the law well so I cannot comment on if it is valid proof as abetment to suicide or not. 

But if the abuse part is true, more than the boyfriend, I blame his mother. Look at the example she set for her son. She married the father in 1986 almost 27 years ago. The father in question has had numerous affairs, a high profile live-in relationship, a history of violence towards women and more. All this while he was still married. Did the mother ever say anything against the husband? Did she walk out of the marriage that was crumpling her worth and causing her mental trauma? 

No. And that for me is her fault in making her son what he is. The mother just by overlooking and accepting all this gave the message to her son that it is okay for men to behave like this, have affairs, not commit to marriage, hit women. Had she walked out of the marriage for all the trauma he gave her or stood up for herself she may have taught her son better. That women are to be respected, not to be physically or mentally hurt, that they are not to be used and thrown and that they have feelings too.

Who knows how the son would have turned out to be but I can bet he would have been more sensitive towards the women in his life.

Children very often role model themselves on what they see their parents doing, how they respect each other, what they compromise upon, what they stand up for and what they choose to ignore in their own relationship. The seeds for a child's any future relationship are laid when you least expect them to be - in the early childhood.